Creche For Men


photo (7)Rhonda and I were able to get away for a couple of days.  Sunshine coast hinterland. (Australia)   A little place called Maleny. We booked in to a bed and breakfast (a first for both of us) and it was quite nice, tucked away on a large piece of property with two dogs and two ducks and two goats. He had a Noah’s Ark thing he was building on.

We had lunch at the pub in Maleny, dinner at the Italian restaurant and a bottle of wine awaited (me) when we got back to our room.

Sunday morning a big breakfast was prepared for us and we were told by the proprietors that we should visit Montville about 10 kms away. He said  It was a nice little town and very popular with the tourists but to make sure to get their early  as its difficult to get parking by mid day.

We said our goodbyes. I hugged the dogs and off to Montville we went.

It was so early when we arrived that we had all the parking we needed. Most of the shops were just opening but my story starts with the adjoining photo. (It reads: Husbands Creche (leave him here while you shop. Just leave money for beer!) After taking this photo Rhonda marched me inside. Sat me at a table and went over to talk to the wait staff. I couldn’t hear what she was saying although I did see her pull out some money and gave it to one of the waitresses.

Rhonda came over kissed me on the forehead  put a newspaper in front of me and said “I’m off to take some personal time, you’ll be well cared for while I am away”,  and off she went at a speed that would make a greyhound look more like a turtle.

I took a deep breath and looked around. It was a large cafe with about 25 tables and I was surprised to see quite a few men on their own sipping coffee and reading the newspapers.

My “waitress”(handler) brought me my first cup of coffee, smiled and said, “don’t worry Sam, you are in good hands, enjoy the day, if you need anything just ring the bell and I will attend to you as soon as possible”then turned and left.

As the hour passed the cafe filled up with women bringing their partners in to be catered for not much different from a mother dropping off her toddler to childcare. That is when I noticed that it was obvious it wasn’t the first time for quite a few  of these men. As I scanned the tables I noticed that the men who were obviously not “crèche virgins” had iPods, books, laptops, ipads, portable video players and even one man brought his knitting.

So I settled in and took advantage of the personal service. I was brought breakfast without ordering, morning tea, lunch, and afternoon tea. I asked if I could have a beer but was told that “my wife’s orders was no alcohol because I was driving”.  My heart rate was off the charts as my coffee intake exceeded my personal all time best.

I read every newspaper and magazine. I even tried doing a crossword puzzle. The day passed considerably fast and by late afternoon the women started filing in to claim their “man”.  Before long I was the only one left and I am sure I could see the concern on the staff’s face. More of a look of pity as this 65 year old man who looked worse for wear waiting for his much younger wife. I am sure they thought she was off getting a “full body massage”.

The staff took turns passing by and reassuring me that “my wife”would not be long.

Rhonda  finally exploded through the entrance beaming from ear to ear.

She thanked the staff, came over, took me by the hand and lead me away. When in the car she told me that she had the best day and wanted to tell me all about while I drove back to the Gold Coast, two hours away. She was true to her word leaving nothing out but little did she know that I hadn’t heard a word she said because while she was “chatting” I was plotting my revenge.

All in all, we had a great time away.

(Disclaimer) Some of the above may be somewhat exaggerated or deemed just not true but I am getting old and my mind does tend to play tricks on me)


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