Cleaning Out My Blog Drawer

The picture I have in my mind as I prepare to finish up on this blog is of the man working in an office who has either given notice or is fired. Why is it always depicted in a movie the packing of one box before leaving the building, and then being ushered out by security.

In packing up my virtual box I came across my draft drawer that had quite a few unfinished posts. Some with nothing but the title, a few with a paragraph or two.

To give myself credit for at least starting these posts I will give a brief synopsis of what could have been therefore giving me credit for another post.

It’s Therapeutic

I only have the title to this one.  I haven’t got a clue what this one was supposed to be about.  Before I trash it lets see what I can come up with.

  • Hearing the waves of the ocean breaking on the beach at night
  • My first sip of my first cup of coffee in the morning,
  • The first few steps out the door on my morning walk
  • My dog greeting me at the door when coming home from work with wagging tale
  • A text from one of my kids with the following words “I love you dad, have I told you lately that you are the greatest and I could not have asked for a better dad, love child”
  • Getting through a conversation with my better half without raising my voice
  • Uncontrollable laughter over anything.
  • Getting on the scale and showing any weight loss.
  • Getting a pay rise without notice
  • Pizza.

Lists like this could make therapists redundant.

Is Blogging Pretentious?

I don’t think I started off this way when beginning my blog  because I sincerely felt that I was shooting from the hip and being totally honest. Being myself, you know, the person that is not understood at home.

But running from one persona I had to make up a new one.

It didn’t take me long to realize that the new me was just a creation. Fun, witty, understanding, direct and faceless and eventually like many others in the blogging world.

Yes, the real me is at home. The one who can fart at will and blame it on the dog.The person who runs out to the mailbox to get the mail in his underwear. The person who applies the 3 second rule when dropping food on   the floor. The unrepentant nose picker and the man who dresses at home like he comes straight out of a John Steinbeck book. Let us not forget the man who has all the best one liner jokes and although doesn’t get any more reactions still knows he’s the funniest man in the room.

Yes I might feel misunderstood at home at times but the real me is without question surrounded by those who love me no matter who I am or how strange my habits. And that makes me easy to be me.

Did I become the pretentious blogger by trying to be someone I wasn’t?

I think I did.

Up Against The Ropes

I wanted to use a boxing analogy here. How life and boxing match can be closely linked. There comes times in our lives that we feel we are in the fight of our life and sometimes we feel that we are taking a hammering. We don’t know how much longer we can hold on as it seems the fight is slipping away and we just might not have the strength or will to keep taking the punches.

The scene is of a boxing match where one of the fighters for whatever reason is backed onto the ropes of the boxing ring. To protect himself, he puts himself in a slightly crouched position, his head protected by his gloves  keeping his opponent from hitting him in the face and at the same time his forearm protecting his mid section.

His opponent his hitting at will, hard and fast knowing this could be a chance to knock him out as he is in a vulnerable position. One punch away of either a knockout or surrender.

Perhaps the roped fighter is hoping his corner will throw in the towel of surrender or he will just hit the deck knowing it will just a matter of time or worse case scenario he will be landed with the knockout blow.

But our hero the one we have the money on also knows that the longer he holds on the more tiring his opponent will get. There is so many punches a fighter can throw at full force before he too starts to run out of steam.

Of course our natural instinct is to hold on as long as possible and being aware of this tactic it will enable him to take one more punch.  If he does then he has just a ray of hope that he can eventually get on top of things.

He finds that little extra to just hold on. He doesn’t really know why, perhaps an inbuilt survival mechanism. Hold on man, one more punch and you just might survive the beating. You may even wear your opponent out and give some back. Maybe even with the fight.

Unfortunately in real life it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes we do get knocked out, sometimes we do throw in the towel but what happens after that is what is really important here.

Do we quit or do we learn from the beating. Do we get back to training and take the lessons learned for the defeat and move on to try to win the next fight.

And don’t forget, if we do hold on as long as possible your more fancied opponent just might tire long enough for you to land a knock out blow and win the fight.

Either way there is always the next fight. It’s just the way life is. So just hold on as long as possible. You never know.

The Long Walk to The Elevator

Now this brings me to some drafts that I am actually thankful I didn’t finish so I am disposing of them in the nicest way possible.

Sending them to the trash bin.

Now that my virtual desk is cleaned out there is still some unfinished business.

Once the box is full and my virtual desk clear, there is the long walk past cubicles and windowed offices to the elevator with box under arm. Nodding to many friends and colleagues and also those you are thankful you will never see again, trying at the same time to read their minds.

What are they really thinking as they to nod, smile and sometimes not even look up too embarrassed that you just might read their mind as they are saying to themselves, good riddance you bastard.

In my case I walk with head high as I did not get fired or let go or my job made redundant. No I am taking the opportunity to allow myself a greater challenge. I am leaving of my own free will.

Yes this walk to the elevator is turning out to be a great feeling for me.

Don’t look back I say to myself. I don’t want to change my mind.


One thought on “Cleaning Out My Blog Drawer

  1. Thank you Sam! I really enjoyed this read because it taught me that all writing, and reading for that matter, is a step into a virtual world. Radio plays also fall into this category. They all allow us enough leeway to choose how we want to color the picture being presented.
    P.S. Maybe your next step in your “writing world” is script writing. Allow those “voices” in the side-wings to step on to what has been your “monologue stage” to speak their lines. Remember Clifford Warne! (Could this be the student teaching the teacher?)
    Well done!

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