When I started my blog I made a personal commitment to writing for one year.
The whole process was new and foreign to me at the time and I have a personal satisfaction that I was able to create something that was so out of my area of expertise.
Not only was the blogging world new to me but I was also a rookie writer, taking up the sport at a very ‘mature’ age. To top it off my first blog post was christened as my first public writing experience. Whew.
Thank you WordPress for making it easy for me and almost making me look like I knew what I was doing.
My year is coming to a close and having not yet decided whether I would continue to keep blogging on or pack up and leave I thought it would be a good idea if I could explain my feelings on the matter, so I decided to write my blog a letter.
As you are well aware my commitment to you is coming to a close. My intentions were clear in the very beginning that I would give you enough sustenance to keep you going for a year.
I learned early in the piece from the more experienced bloggers that anything less than once a week may not be enough to keep you functioning normally. More is better but not too much.
I wasn’t always on the mark as far as the weekly quota was concerned but my postings evened out.
Yes, I know, and I will confess to you now that it was a mistake to stop feeding you for that two month period where I fell into a bloggers depression and refused to come out of my room.
I apologize profusely as I know it affected you. You were slowly starving to death and the few friends that we had made stop visiting.
I just wasn’t thinking of anyone but myself at the time.
I know from others that it takes time to build a good presence, a place in this society and it was evident that most bloggers don’t make their mark for quite some time.
In my defence I wasn’t really sure I wanted to be apart of this community and there were times when I felt I didn’t fit in as it seemed that I was way out of my depth.
There is no excuse for abandonment and for this I apologize.
In retrospect I see I was too concerned on building a good image for others to see. I so wanted to be accepted that I stopped writing for enjoyment and started writing to be liked.
I put too much emphasis and concern on who “liked’ me, how many visited our home, why no one was commenting and not one email reply.
All that aside my biggest mistake was being envious of others, those that had made their mark in this world of ‘wordiness’ , a world where words either make you or break you.
I started to feel way out of my depth. I was treading water and I was getting tired.
That is why I deserted you, I was thinking only of me and for this I apologize.
When I decided to come back to you I not only lost the few friends I had made as they thought I must have abandoned my house and left the community altogether.
But I did come back with a new out look, a new lease on life so all was not lost. I started to write for myself and for a time this was satisfying.
I know I know, I have been told a million times that it takes time to be a good writer, just as it take time for a person to grow and mature from childhood to adulthood.
There are some times in life that a shortcut does not get you to where you want to be any quicker, this is one of them.
My time with you has given me the confidence and hope for the future that some day I will be a good writer who will someday make a difference in the larger world community.
As we approach the end of my commitment to you I have to ask myself this question.
“Is this blogging culture for me or is it time to pack up and move on and find another way to learn and grow.”
At the moment I am just not sure but there is still time before the bell tolls.
Whatever I decide I just want to let you know that you have been a good friend and I have enjoyed working with you.
If you could only talk.
Your creator and friend, Sammy
PS: Of course if I decide to move on then I would not have the opportunity to obtain the Holy Grail of the Blog. To be Freshly Pressed. Oh what to do.