To Muse or Not to Muse

Why is there not more conversation on the use of a Muse? Does anyone have one or is just an unseen creative kick in the pants.

I would like to think as a writer that we would want any opportunity to be more creative, more prolific, more everything. If I had a muse I think it would give me an edge in my writing.

I am more the practical type. If someone were to Muse me I would like to be able to at least see her.

Back in the day when muses were first sighted they were in the form of women but is there anything written it couldn’t be a man?  It’s something to think about. I think if I had a muse that was manifested as a woman she would be more of a distraction than help.

Therefore a man would perhaps help get the job done quicker, at least for me that is.

What Could We Use a Muse For?

Let’s get practical here, what could we use a muse for?  A spirit guide to stand over your shoulder breathing down your neck when you are getting that great idea for your next blog or staring at the blank computer screen waiting for your muse to somehow magically make your fingers hit the right keys.

Nah, personally that seems somewhat intrusive to me. I like my space.

I’ll tell you how a Muse could help me keep my mind on the matter at hand, writing that post that is going to wow the world. The ‘Oscar’ winning article that will go down in history as the best, most entertaining, informative piece of literature the blogging world has seen since its inception.

Now I couldn’t do that with my Muse hanging all over me whispering in my ear, telling me what to write and what to leave out.  I would find that encroaching on my copy write and what if he was a double agent looking for new material for another ‘creative’.

A Muse who could do all the little things for me that would keep me in my den and at my desk pounding out extraordinary post after post day after day would by far be more helpful to me and keep at arm’s length.

A Muse to keep my creative talent and inspiration fresh and uninterrupted by being my personal body guard, assistant, who would also act as my literary agent screening any potential and annoying publishers who don’t have my best interests at heart.

My Muse could get my coffee, run my bath, cook my breakfast, take my kids to school, go to work for me (and hand in that pay check every week of course), take out the garbage, put the dishwasher on and read to me before bed just to mention a few important tasks to keep my creative juices flowing.

That would completely set me free to do the most important thing on earth that God intended for me. To write the block buster book and become the next modern day Mark Twain.

And no, that’s not what a wife, husband or partner is for. I tried and it doesn’t work because they expect the same in return. Obviously they don’t have an eye for the creative genius living among them.

Yes I also thought of hiring someone to do that job but it has its implications. It could cause me to be working on my next best seller from my car because that is where I will be living due to the inflated fees these days that personal assistants and body guards charge.

It is also my understanding the muses travelled at least in 3’s but no more than nine at a time and if they were women then I could only imagine it would be for security reasons to watch each other’s backs as no pepper spray was on the chemist shelves in their day.

Yes I believe that a muse is the way to go so we creative types can change the world one blog post at a time.

Help Please

So please, could someone tell me where I can find a good Muse best suited for me?

Is there a secret Muse society that I have to infiltrate or can a simple phone call from the yellow pages suffice?

Hey if you already have a Muse do you want to share?

Or can you refer me to an out of work muse that would like to keep busy while they are waiting for the next Shakespeare to come along.

Or maybe I just need to do it the way everyone else does it; be content to live two separate lives.

 

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